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一位女子的奇异灵魂之旅体验

时间:2014-07-10 02:57:10 作者:陈岳红 来源:网络转载 查看:3127
 

8年前的一次“灵魂之旅”令我刻骨铭心,并且彻底改变了我。

自幼父教甚严,马克思主义的学说根深蒂固。在大学里就积极入党,工作以后也有很大的企图心,一心想做又红又专的接班人。所以对唯心主义的东西一直排斥,任何宗教迷信的东西从不沾边。

然而令人难以置信的事,却真真切切地发生在我这个死硬的无神论者身上了。

大概是我连续几个冬天,饱受风寒加上积劳成疾,落下了病根。每年从秋冬之交一直咳嗽到次年春末夏初。那一年秋天,久咳不愈的痼疾再次发作,我只好像往年一样,天天去住家附近的诊所吊点滴消炎。

那天晚上8点到诊所,医生说我前两天吊的那个批次的青霉素刚刚用在了一个小孩身上,我用另一个批号,接着给我做了皮试。皮试的结果呈“阳性”,手腕上的红斑有2分钱硬币那么大,隆起于皮肤,并有放射状的伪足。我满怀疑虑,问医生:“可以打吗?”医生沉吟了一会儿,说:“这应该属于‘假阳性’,可能批次不同导致的。既然前几天一直在吊青霉素,应该没有问题。”为了预防过敏,他给我注射了一支非那根,又在吊针配剂里加了一支地塞米松。我见如此,便放心地走进里间,躺在病床上,护士为我打上了点滴,就出去外间招呼别的病人了。

约莫半分钟左右,伴随一阵刺耳的火车一般的耳鸣声,我忽然坠入一个黑暗的隧道,并向前猛冲。巨大的恐惧袭来,我怎么了?刚才还好好的,怎么一下这样了?想停停不住,想回回不去,想喊喊不出,试图挣扎却做不到。我感觉自己是某种物质微粒,在一个永无止境的循环轨道里猛冲着。尽管我的身躯躺在刚才的世界,我却进入了一个与之隔离的空间。而我很清醒地意识到,我不是做梦,是吊针出了问题!青霉素过敏!意识到这一点已经太迟了,我已经身不由己。

我吓坏了!惊惶、无可奈何、绝望地在似乎永无止境的隧道里漂浮着。

我明明知道我的躯体依旧躺在病床上,而我已经回不去了。

这便是死亡么?如果是,那么我为什么这么清醒?只是与刚才的世界隔绝,却没有消失?

没有痛苦,轻飘飘的,甚至很舒服。

冥冥中,这时有某种“意识流”陪伴我,在给我肯定的答案,在回复我内心的疑问,在安抚我惊惶的心。

我不知如何形容那种“意识流”,祂无声无形、宽宏明亮、温暖慈祥、可以解答我一切的疑问,如春天之阳光包围我、引领我。我明白那是某种高于我的灵魂、或称为先知、智者,以心灵感应的意识传递方式,向我昭示世界的本质、生命的真谛,为我打开生死的大门,看到生命的另一面。

我不知何时不再置身黑暗冗长的隧道,而是一片明亮、温暖、洁白的世界。我感觉彻底的解脱、一切苦恼离我而去,永恒的宁和与幸福。

我的意识冒出一个又一个问题,关于世界的本质、关于生命、关于生死......随着意念所到之处,他将答案一一展现于我眼前:“世界是物质微粒组成,微粒流动聚合而形成世间的万千“具象”(具体形象之意)。譬如门前那棵树,在人们的眼中它是实实在在的一棵树,而在我们这里看到的,它是一堆聚合成树的形状的微粒,微粒在永恒地循环着、流动着......”

我的确看到的是一个微粒聚集、流动的万象世界!我的肉体依旧躺在那里打点滴,意识却随他指引,看到诊所门外的树。

我也是物质的微粒吗?“是。人体也是无数微粒的聚合、流动。组织代谢、交换等,都是物质微粒的流动。此时的你(确切说是我的灵魂)也是物质微粒的一部分,处在循环中。”

所以,微粒此时聚为某形,流动、进入循环、流往他处、进入另一聚集、为另一具象......如此循环,无生无灭....这便是永恒。这便是世界的本来面目。

俗称的“死亡”其实是生命的另一个阶段,正如你此刻体验的,灵魂清楚真实地存在着、思考着,只是与肉身所处的世界隔绝,无法沟通。仿佛隔着玻璃门,你可以看到门外的一切,他们却感受不到门内的你。你无法传递此时的状态,亲人们因为无法了解这个真相,才会按照世间对于生死的理解,为你痛彻心扉......这时,我担心父母看到我这样了,该多么伤心!孩子太小,无法独立....这些念头一闪而过。

肉体仿如电视机,灵魂仿如电视节目的讯号,难道电视机老化坏掉了,讯号便消失吗?人类的肉体只是物质微粒的聚合,成为一种“载体”。无论作为物质微粒,还是作为一种能量,都是不会消失的。

这时的我处于非常奇怪的状态,意识的我与肉体的我不是一体,是分离而又联系的。可以同时感受几个不同的空间。

意识一直在另一个空间与先知或智者交流,看世界的本相。同时也在身体所处的世界敏锐地感受一切,对周遭的一切洞若观火。可能是意识速度太快的缘故,周遭的声音传进耳朵是缓慢、有延时的!期间,有一对邻居老夫妻来诊所看病,走到里间,看到孤零零躺着吊着点滴、貌似沉睡的我说:“唉!这丫头真可怜!一个人带个孩子!”诊所外来来去去的人声、麻木声不停。我还透视到壁橱后面挂着两个衣架。

期间,我的传呼机响了三次,护士进来问我是否需要回复,一个是乐队的琴师大概联系演出之事,另两个是同一个追求者打来的。我的意识指挥着有点陌生感的我的躯体,缓缓作出摇头的动作。意识在想,钱和爱情已无足轻重。

外面的病患向医生申诉病情,我的意识在医生开口之前已经读到了医生的意识,知道他会说什么话。结果,果真如此。原来这便是“读心术”。

我的意识悬浮在身体之外的上方,指挥躯体深深吸气、长长呼气,这个动作表示“活着”。医生过后告诉我,无法理解当时我为何是与平时完全不同的“潮式呼吸”

医生进来查看,悬浮的灵魂指挥躯体挤眉弄眼,引起医生的注意。死死抓住医生的手,因为只有这个人才可以把我带回来,父母、小孩......还有使命未完。

念头刚转,便觉灵魂向下急坠。一阵天旋地转后,终于与躯体合而为一。我睁开眼,坐了起来,狂吐不止。整整吐了大半个脸盆,腌菜一般黑色的液体,身体变得空荡荡的。医生诧异:小小的胃怎可装下这么多东西?这个过程大概就是“谷辟”。头顶上,挂满了20多个空药瓶。看来,医生已经竭尽全力抢救我回来。我向他讲述了刚才4个小时我所经历的事。他沉默地听着,脸色苍白。我想他是吓坏了。他陪了我一整晚。

我一点儿责怪医生的意思也没有。因为他的错误,我才经历了这一切,洞察了此岸与彼岸的世界,消除了对于死亡的最大的疑惑和恐惧,令我对生命的意义和世界的认识彻底改观。

从此,世间的名利纷争在我眼中变得毫无意义,我开始关注人们心灵的苦难。幸运的是,我用自己的这段体验,给临终的老人、癌症患者、痛失亲人的人们......等正经历恐惧、绝望、精神痛苦的人们提供心灵的援助,让他们获得了解脱。常怀慈悲与关爱,令我的生命充满喜悦。


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